


Our Bodies, Ourselves

by aye_of_newt



Series: Sex, Love, and Emotional Trauma [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fix it?, Gen, Hurt, i guess this is a teeny-tiny au, ooh boy...this was not handled well, references to past sexual violence, so talking about sexual violence (in a nongraphic way), talking serious about the themes in s2:e7, we need to have a talk about consent, where they have a few more minutes between missing the briefcase and leaving to find the others
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25659961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aye_of_newt/pseuds/aye_of_newt
Summary: Klaus has a little talk with Ben about consent.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: Sex, Love, and Emotional Trauma [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1860523
Comments: 139
Kudos: 632





	Our Bodies, Ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> so...
> 
> episode seven happened.
> 
> I'm...not very happy with it.
> 
> So here we are.

“We’re going to the bathroom,” Klaus announced, giving Ben a meaningful glare as he rose. 

Luther and Five barely looked up, apparently unconcerned with the use of pronoun as they bickered over what to do next. 

Klaus led the way through the disheveled apartment, casting a quick glance over his shoulder to ensure that Ben was following. He held open the door for Ben, ushing him through sarcastically before following him in, pulling the door closed behind him with perhaps a touch more force than needed. He leaned against it for a moment, his hand still wrapped tight around the knob, the hard wood digging into his back. Klaus stared at the floor, breathing while he collected his thoughts. 

“Klaus?” Ben asked, his voice hovering somewhere between concern and annoyance. Usually, Klaus had no problem talking to him in front of everyone else, even while pretending he wasn't there. Klaus didn’t care if they rolled their eyes at him. 

“What the fuck was that?” Klaus asked, his voice sounding flat and foreign to his own ears. 

“What?” Ben was genuinely confused.

Klaus looked up at him, his familiar carefree facade gone, unusual anger tight in his jaw as he glared at Ben. “What _the fuck_ were you trying to do with Jill?”

“Klaus⏤”

“No! “ He cried. “No, _Klaus_ ! I specifically said _no touchy-touchy down there_!” 

“And then you said _well_ ⏤” Ben imitated his voice. 

“That was a joke!” Klaus ignored how his shout broke on the last word, gesturing wildly with his hands. 

“How was I supposed to know?”

“Hmm, I don’t know, _Ben,_ maybe when I tried to _kick you out of my body_ when I thought you were going to do that?”

“Klaus⏤”

“No! No, _Klaus_!”

“You agreed⏤”

“I agreed on rules! WE agreed on rules!”

“I don’t get why you’re so mad about this, Klaus! You have sex all the time with more people than I can keep count of! Fuck, you’ve had sex with Jill! Like, you literally had sex with her last week!”

“ _So the fuck what?”_ Klaus roared, the little composure he had crumbling. “That’s when I was in control of my body! Me! _I_ say when I have sex! _I_ say who I have sex with and when and where and how! Not you!”

“Klaus⏤” something was dawning on Ben that he had failed to piece together before and his stomach was turning.

“That’s my decision, Ben! I said no sex and when I tried to stop you, you didn’t listen to me.”

“I didn’t think⏤”

“What? That it mattered? That I was ‘asking for it’?”

“I didn’t say that, Klaus.” The uncomfortable feeling was building even as Ben tried to argue his way out of it. “Stop being⏤”

“Being what? Dramatic? And what about Jill. Huh, Ben? I thought you liked her.”

“I do. What are you talking about?”

“News flash, Ben. She doesn’t know you. She thought she was talking to me. She wanted to have sex with me.”

Hot jealousy burned through the regret like lighter fluid, leaving anger in its wake. “Oh yeah, you who can’t remember her fucking name, what a great choice⏤”

“Her choice, Ben! Her! Fucking! Choice! Whatever she thought of me⏤ and I do know her name, dumbass, I was teasing you⏤ she chose to have sex with _me_ in the past and she thought she was choosing to have sex with _me_ again. Not you.”

“I was trying to tell her⏤”

“That you’re the ghost of my dead brother inhabiting my body for the afternoon so you could fuck her?”

“So I could talk to her!”

“And then fuck her.”

“You’re being gross, Klaus.”

“No, Ben. I’m repeating what you did back to you. If you think it’s gross then that’s on you.”

“I was still trying to tell her.”

“She wouldn’t have believed you.”

“And if she did?”

“It was still my body.” Klaus’ voice cracked as he protested the fact one last time. “It was my body, Ben. I said… I said _no_.” Klaus looked away quickly before he did something stupid like cry. He avoided Ben’s eyes and glanced around the room. The space was tiny. Too cramped. He was barely two feet from his brother. 

In all their years together, Ben had never stayed when Klaus was… with someone. That would have been creepy. They weren’t Allison and Luther. He didn’t know exactly what happened behind closed doors and most of the time he didn’t want to know. But he had been there in the times after. 

Flickers of memory curled around the corners of Ben’s mind as he thought of long-past days spent squatting and struggling. He remembered those occasional mornings when, in the fragmented moments between Ben materializing in the room and Klaus realizing he was there, he caught glimpses of something other than sweet morning glow. Klaus would lay curled around himself in bed, completely silent, holding onto his own arms as if it was the only thing keeping him from falling apart. 

Ben remembered the way that Klaus would force a smile on his face when he saw Ben standing there and joke about privacy while he hastily pulled a sheet up over the blossoming bruises that ran along his legs. 

He remembered the nights that would follow those mornings, filled with booze and drugs in excess even by Klaus’ standards. He thought of how Klaus hid the way he flinched from touches with coy flirting and laughed to potential partners that he _needed a recovery day⏤ if you know what I mean, but be sure to hit him up next time._

He remembered unusually silent meals purchased with dollars from a source that neither of them mentioned.

He remembered the strange foreign feeling that bubbled under his own excitement as Jill smiled at him, his own giddy nerves just covering a genuine stirring of panic.

He remembered the way that Klaus, who agreed to the rules, who played along seamlessly for at least an hour, suddenly tried to forcibly evict Ben from his body. 

He remembered Jill’s open, trusting face as she smiled at him⏤ no, at _Klaus._

He remembered the way that Klaus clawed desperately at his body, trying to get free, not caring that pain exploded behind each hit he lay on his own face. 

He remembered, with a wave of self-loathing horror, that in response to Klaus’ thrashing, Ben had clamped down harder, shoving Klaus down as he remained in control, insisting that he was the more responsible one. 

Ben looked at Klaus with wide eyes, his anger turned away to face only inward, his heart clenched in his chest. He tentatively reached out. “Klaus, I’m so s⏤”

Klaus flinched. 

Ben froze. 

“I⏤” Klaus struggled, searching for a witty joke. “They’re waiting,” was all he said, turning on his heel and wrenching the bathroom door open. He all but bolted down the hallway, disappearing from Ben’s sight. 

Ben stood where he was for a long moment, his arms hanging limply at his sides as he processed what had just happened. What he’d done. 

_Klaus flinched._

From the main room, he heard the murmuring rise and fall of Luther and Five as they chastised Klaus for something or another. Being “drunk”. Making them wait. Being Klaus… maybe all of those things. Their voices faded further and Ben realized they were leaving. With footsteps that felt like lead, he began to follow them, his thoughts still jumbled together as he hurried to catch up. 

He’d fucked up.

He needed to apologize. For real.

But right now, they had siblings to save and an apocalypse to stop. 

There would be time, later, to apologize. To promise he would never do… _that_ again. That he wouldn’t take control again, _ever,_ if Klaus didn’t want him to. 

He would make it right.

There would be time later. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Let me know if you're feeling what I'm feeling about this whole thing.


End file.
